It has been a bit since I last wrote on the blog -- but I have been immersed in some very deep areas of teaching and personal reflection. It is amazing to me how much farther we can go into delving into our lives when we "get away" if you will. I realize how privilged I am to experience this as those with families and other responsibilities can't always do this. Nonetheless -- I also think it ultimately has less to do with our responsibilities as much as the attitude of our heart and if we are going to let God be willing to have his way in our hearts. When it says in the gospel of John 6:66 "Many turned and followed him no more." There comes a point in all of our lives -- perhaps more than once, where we are personally challenged by something that happens in our life or we have a hard time accepting the teachings of Jesus and either in a blatant move of stubborness or rebellion we turn from Him -- or perhaps more common, it happens very gradually, we slowly cool in our response to His word, or the call of His spirit on our lives -- we allow the things of the world to slip back in -- we stop being so intense and lesson our attitude towards things that would be considered questionable and allow more "grey areas" to reign in our lives. I think when Jesus got away from the crowds and got alone with the Father - he gave us such a great example about how to maintain that connection in such a way where he could be strengthened by it and it would affect his choices that he made on a daily basis.
I am painfully aware of ways that I have let the "world" creep into that special place of relationship with the Lord and how easily things get watered down -- I am grateful for this time to face some of the harder issues -- head on in hopes that after I leave this place I might be more equipped to walk in a fuller way -- my true, authentic self -- that who I am in Christ Jesus.