Sunday, May 17, 2009


It has been a bit since I last wrote on the blog -- but I have been immersed in some very deep areas of teaching and personal reflection. It is amazing to me how much farther we can go into delving into our lives when we "get away" if you will. I realize how privilged I am to experience this as those with families and other responsibilities can't always do this. Nonetheless -- I also think it ultimately has less to do with our responsibilities as much as the attitude of our heart and if we are going to let God be willing to have his way in our hearts. When it says in the gospel of John 6:66 "Many turned and followed him no more." There comes a point in all of our lives -- perhaps more than once, where we are personally challenged by something that happens in our life or we have a hard time accepting the teachings of Jesus and either in a blatant move of stubborness or rebellion we turn from Him -- or perhaps more common, it happens very gradually, we slowly cool in our response to His word, or the call of His spirit on our lives -- we allow the things of the world to slip back in -- we stop being so intense and lesson our attitude towards things that would be considered questionable and allow more "grey areas" to reign in our lives. I think when Jesus got away from the crowds and got alone with the Father - he gave us such a great example about how to maintain that connection in such a way where he could be strengthened by it and it would affect his choices that he made on a daily basis.

I am painfully aware of ways that I have let the "world" creep into that special place of relationship with the Lord and how easily things get watered down -- I am grateful for this time to face some of the harder issues -- head on in hopes that after I leave this place I might be more equipped to walk in a fuller way -- my true, authentic self -- that who I am in Christ Jesus.

Friday, May 8, 2009


Today at Ellel, we are learning about forgiveness -- a topic that has been taught many times before. Today an interesting point was brought up when they mentioned in the prayer Jesus taught the disciples to pray in Matt. 6, "...forgive us as we forgive those who sin against us...." There is a cause an affect in this prayer -- however not just the obvious -- we are not forgiven if we don't forgive those who sin against us and the laws of unforgivenes can still operate in our life -- those of judgement. We might not believe in gravity but if we step off a cliff -- it will operate and have its full affects on our life whether we participate in the reality of it or not -- so it is with unforgivenss. There are spiritual laws of cause and affect and judgement and curses and such that can operate in our life when we don't forgive.

It has opened up a new sense of reverence for me -- as I consider the holiness of God -- what He has done for me in forgiving me of my sins, past, present and future and how what a challenge I have to move in that forgivenes towards others. Sometimes this is a tall order --

Forgivenes is a decision of the will -- not a feeling -- feelings of mistrust, hurt, etc., can still be present in forgiveness. Forgivenes is a decision -- Healing is a process and a result -- but this can take time. Our job is to walk in the spiritual laws of forgivenes and look to the One, Jesus, who can heal us.

I have known much of this before -- but I feel I am looking at it in a whole new light at this point in my life. I am profoundly moved at the thought of the volnerability of Jesus and how he moved on this planet and what he must have felt, especially in regards to rejection and how he continued to be loving towards everyone -- how incredible is that -- when you really take that in -- what an example......

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


That is what I have been looking for -- a time to study the bible, learn more about what we can expect from God regarding healing and deliverance in our own lives and the lives of those that we would minister to -- I come to the 9-week School at Ellel Ministries with great expectations and a sense of excitement as I discover this wonderful physical part of the world here, the grounds of the building where this program takes place. It is in Lancaster which is a lovely little town that is about 50 minutes north of Manchester and very, very green right now and a bit wet as well.

I am with 31 other participants who represent 17 different nations. I am looking forward to getting to know them -- already had some great conversations. There happens to be two pianos in this wonderful Huge House and I have already enjoyed playing and singing -- something I have missed for sometime, having given up my apartment 3 years ago and giving my piano to my dad.

......I look forward to jotting down my thoughts as we go with perhaps a few photos as well -- I hope you take the journey with me.


A Quick South African Reunion At The Market.

Zinhle & Me - Sweet Auburn Market - 7/14/19 It was a quick hello at Sweet Auburn Market, just outside the security gate at depa...